Warning: If your spouse has dropped the "divorce" bombshell and does not wish to work on saving your marriage...
6 Solid Tips to Save Your Marriage From Divorce For Women
When it comes to marriage, divorce is a four-letter word. If you’re on the verge of divorce, you might be wondering what steps you might be able to take to help prevent your relationship from dissolving. The first thing you’ll need to decide is that you’re going to take action. Then, you can put in place these 6 tips to save your marriage from divorce.
Stop Being a Victim
Your first instinct will probably be to wonder how your spouse could do this to you. But trying to guilt your husband to stay with you (or return if he’s already left) will only serve to make you (and him!) more miserable. What you can do instead is take the positive track. Remember all the good things you bring to your marriage and work on showing these qualities to your spouse. “Showing” is always better than “telling” and will make your husband more confident in you.
Take Out the Trash
Your spouse probably has pent-up feelings of anger and hurt, and these resentments may have led to him asking for a divorce. Both of you should make a list of things that made you angry or bitter.
Go through your lists one by one and search for the misunderstandings that led to these feelings. Each of you will need to look for your part in the situation to find the misperceptions. Apologize for your mistakes and don’t comment on what the other did to cause a problem.
The biggest part of making a marriage work is a compromise. Both you and your partner should be prepared to make some accommodations for the other. If you’re both willing to compromise, you should be able to find some middle ground that will please you both. A marriage counselor can help to guide you during this process. If both partners in a marriage are not happy, it will be difficult to make the relationship work.
Take a Break
Sometimes, just getting away from your partner for a weekend or even a week or 10 days will help you to gather your thoughts and emotions. If your relationship has been characterized by stress for quite some time, this can help you both to re-evaluate where you’re at in the relationship and the things you’d be willing to change.
Find Something in Common
Finding common goals that you two can share might be a helpful step. These goals might include who will continue to work and who will stay home and watch the kids, or if you both will work and the children get placed in a daycare setting.
Change Your Appearance
Dealing with an impending divorce can be stressful physically as well as emotionally. You might become depressed and let your looks slip. But don’t fall into this trap. Get a haircut or color, put on your makeup, lose weight, or play dress up. This will help your self-esteem and change the way your partner sees you.
If despite your efforts, you cannot stop your divorce, you’ll need to consider divorce estate planning. It’s difficult to think about, but if something were to happen to you before the divorce is finalized, and you haven’t made specific plans for your estate, everything you own will likely return to your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
This is particularly important if you have children from the relationship, as you’ll want to make certain your children’s futures are secure. You should create a will if you don’t have one, and name an executor, or modify your existing will to name one, someone other than your spouse. Only by doing so can you ensure your estate goes where it needs to.